How to Handle Those Embarassing Moments

As we were walking downtown last fall, my daughter noticed someone sitting close by, with a scowl on their face. She asked me, “Mommy – why is that man so mad?” Pretty harmless, right? Well, it would have been if that man had been a man – and not a woman instead.

Ah, the joys of having a toddler or a preschooler. They can talk now, but that little filter that we adults rely on (you know, the one that stops us from saying exactly what we are thinking?) is not yet developed. So it stands to reason that our kids are going to blurt out of sorts of fun stuff out in public, leaving us with a mess to clean up. Whether it’s yelling the world “NIPPLE!” at the grocery store, asking (non-pregnant) women about the babies in their tummies, or other social faux pas, it’s going to happen. So what do we do about it?

I am still pretty new at navigating these waters. I have come up with a few ideas, though – and I thought I’d share.

• “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” It’s just as true today as it was when we were children. Sometimes I turn it around on my kids, and ask them how they would feel if someone said that same thing to them. Once they start to think in those terms, it’s a little easier for them to understand why we don’t say certain things.
  
• Be proactive. For a while, my daughter thought big tummies always had babies in them. This was an issue for a while with her, and she approached four different people about it! Be it a man or a woman – she was convinced that a baby was in there. Once I explained to her that sometimes people just have big tummies, she started to understand that not everyone was pregnant. If there is an issue that your child is focusing on, be proactive so they don’t blurt something out to a stranger at Home Depot.
  
• Don’t react to a curse word. I am thankful to live in a home where cursing is not a problem for anyone, and so this is something we’ve had an easy time with. However, kids still play with words and sounds – which means that they can easily stumble upon an inappropriate word. This happened once when my daughter was three. She was experimenting with sounds, and was walking around saying things like, “Ducky…lucky…duck…” and the list continued until she accidentally said the “f” word. I was shocked, hearing this word escape my little daughter’s mouth. Then she asked me, “Is that a funny word?” I had to think on my feet, so I just said, “Well… do you want to hear a really funny word? Platypus!” Then we watched You Tube videos of duckbilled platypuses, and she forgot her “new” word. She never repeated that word again, and I am very thankful!
  
• Remember that a child’s imagination is an amazing place. They really do make up stories (see mine below), and sometimes you just have to take it with a grain of salt. If they say something embarrassing, you can explain to your audience that they are young and sometimes very imaginative. You may still be in a pickle, but it’s worth a shot.
  
• Stay focused on turning the situation around, not punishing your child. Most of the time, kids say rude or impolite things by accident. Sure, they may get mad at your brother and call him a stinky butt, but in general I think that most embarrassing comments are accidental. Kids are kids, and we need to cut them some slack. Focus on teaching them what is ok and not ok, rather than simply getting angry and embarrassed.
  

In spite of everything we try to do to be proactive, our kids are still going to embarrass us on occasion. I think my best story comes from being out to lunch with my dad and stepmom. (And let me preface this by saying that to this day, we do not know how she came up with this!)

My four year old had been in the habit of calling me “Mother” lately, inspired by Little Foot in “The Land Before Time.” Well, my husband asked our daughter what her new name for me was (assuming she’s answer, “Mother.”) Instead, she said, “I call her HOT MAMA.” Stunned silence filled the table, followed by my husband asking her where she had heard that phrase (as he held back his laughter). Her response? Oh, it got even worse. She answered, “Sometimes, when I lay in bed at night, I hear… ‘HOT MAMA.’”

The main thing is to do what you can to prevent these embarrassing comments or stories, but in the end just remember that this a phase. One day, you’ll look back and actually miss these days.

What about you? Any hilarious stories, and how do you deal with this issue?

- Grace

Related posts:

1. Toddlers and Their Tantrums – Tips to Handle It
2. Do You Lie to Your Kids?
3. Temper Tantrums in Public – Don’t be Embarrassed!
4. Vacations with Kids – How Much Can You Handle?
5. Teach Your Kids to Argue… Respectfully