Marlin vs. Crush – Which Parent are You?
Posted in Parenting on 21. Oct, 2009
My two year old is going through a major “Finding Nemo” phase. She can’t pronounce “Nemo,” so instead she says “MoMo.” She has a little plush Nemo doll that she carries around, is always asking about the movie, and actually waves goodbye to Nemo (I think she believes he lives in our TV) when we drive away from our house.
Since this movie has been on more recently, I’ve pretty much memorized the whole thing. Thankfully, it’s a good movie that adults enjoy as well, so I’m not too sick of hearing it. In fact, I absolutely love Crush the turtle and always wander into the living room when that scene is playing.
One thing about that scene that I like in particular is watching the exchange between Marlin and Crush on parenthood. Squirt is accidentally knocked out of the current that they are in, and Marlin panics. Cool and collected, Crush restrains Marlin from his overprotective attempt at recovering Squirt. Crush pauses to see what his son will do now that he’s in this situation, waiting to see if he’ll rejoin the turtles in the current on his own without any help. Sure enough, little Squirt is able to bust back into the EAC with no trouble at all, with a new sense of confidence at being able to master this on his own.
This scene really got me to thinking. Am I a Crush, or a Marlin? Honestly, I go back and forth. There are times when I will rush right over when my kids do something, and in hindsight I realize that I should have let them handle it on their own. On the flip side, there are plenty of times when one of them will trip, and I hang back while they dust themselves off without skipping a beat.
Some thoughts on Marlin vs. Crush:
- No matter how protective we are, our kids can still get into trouble. Kids are kids, and we can only shelter them to a degree. Sure, we need to provide safe boundaries and teach them to be responsible, but that doesn’t mean they won’t make mistakes. As overprotective as Marlin was, let’s not forget that Nemo still managed to get fish-napped by an Australian dentist.
- Sometimes being overprotective or sheltering a kid can cause them to rebel. Nemo swam out to the “butt,” didn’t he? Perhaps if Marlin had given him more credit, Nemo wouldn’t have been provoked into proving his point.
- Letting your child solve a problem on their own builds confidence. Remember Squirt’s face when he burst back into the EAC? I think I’ve seen that same look in my kids’ faces when they figure something out as well.
- Sometimes your child is right – and you are wrong. If Nemo hadn’t have helped those fish in the end (who were caught in the fisher’s net) they would have all been the specials for Red Lobster soon afterward. Nemo’s direction to “swim down” saved them all, including Dori. Although at first Marlin wanted Nemo to back away and not get involved, Nemo saved the day after all – which taught Marlin that his son was capable of more than he thought.
Sure, these two characters are extremes, but I think that they present a good portrait of an overprotective parent vs. a laid back, hands-off mom or dad. So what about you – are you a Marlin, or a Crush? (Or perhaps somewhere in between?)
-Grace
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