How to Help a Friend Once the Baby Arrives

We’ve all been there. It’s the end of your pregnancy, and you start making preparations to survive those first couple of weeks with your newborn. Once your baby arrives, your husband takes a few days or a week off work, family comes to town for a visit, and friends bring meals for a couple of weeks. Friends and family really help us adjust to life with a new baby, and without their help we’d really be up a creek! But what about after those first couple of weeks? What happens when your husband is back at work, family goes home, and the meals stop coming? What are we supposed to do then?

My friend Aimee recently emailed me with some thoughts on this subject. She has a beautiful new baby girl, and life so far seems to be going well with her new little family. However, Aimee raises an excellent point – while we are all thankful for the help we receive right after we come home from the hospital, what about when your baby is two or three weeks, old? A three week old is still nursing round the clock, getting up in the middle of the night, and requiring a lot of care. The mom, however, is usually on her own at this point, while friends and family may erroneously assume that life with the new baby is “easy” by now. (I’m laughing as I write that, by the way – it doesn’t get “easy” for a looooong time.)

So, with the help of Aimee, here are some things that we suggest friends and family can do to help out after the baby is born.

• Help out with housekeeping for the new mom. Aimee suggests having someone come over and clean for an hour would be a lifesaver for any new mom. She is absolutely right! When your baby is two or three weeks old, you’re still not back into your regular housekeeping routine. Nursing around the clock and getting up three times each night is enough to make someone deliriously tired, and keeping the house in order is the last thing on a new mom’s to-do list. We suggest arranging for some help with the housework, whether it’s hiring a maid or offering to go clean yourself. Something that my in-laws did for me after the birth of our second baby was to come over and clean once a week. My husband’s younger brothers came over and tackled my bathrooms while my mother-in-law started dinner, and it was an absolute lifesaver.
• Offer to go grocery shopping for your friend. If your friend has a new baby, offer to run by the store for her. Whether she needs a lot of groceries, or just a gallon of milk, it will be incredibly helpful if you do the shopping for her. Trust me – taking a newborn to the grocery store is risky business.
• Give your friend the gift of alone time. Suggest that she feed the baby and put him down for a nap while you stay at the house. She can go out and get a manicure, have a cup of coffee, and take a few minutes to herself while you stay at the house with her sleeping infant. Watching a sleeping infant is an easy enough task, and it will do a world of good for your friend to have some time out by herself.
• Last of all - if you are still pregnant consider this. If a friend wants to throw you a baby shower, suggest that guests bring a meal to freeze – instead of a gift. Having meals in your freezer will be a huge help when your baby is a few weeks old and you are just too tired to cook dinner that evening. This is a great shower idea as long as you are already having a traditional shower (you’ll still need baby stuff!), or if this is your second (or third, or fourth…) baby. In that case, you’ll probably have all of the baby gear you’ll need – so if a friend wants to throw you a baby shower, suggest that guests bring a meal to freeze for after the baby is born, in lieu of gifts. Make sure and be clear that these meals are for when your baby is a few weeks old, and you would still appreciate friends and family bringing meals over once you arrive home from the hospital. (Also, make sure you have freezer space for the meals you expect to receive.)

So moms, what do you think? Do you have any other suggestions for ways that friends and family can help out a new mom? Let me know if we’ve missed something!

-Grace

Related posts:

1. Tips For Helping a Friend With Meals
2. Encouraging Other Moms – Why It’s Important
3. Introducing Your Baby to Your Pet
4. Why You Should Cherish the Baby Stage
5. Packing For The Hospital: 7 Things to Not Forget