It starts when you’re pregnant. You waltz into the store, and can’t help cooing over the onesies and the teeny tiny little hats and socks that are on the shelves. You’ve been to baby showers or seen your friends’ babies, and you know how cute those baby clothes can be. So finally – you have a reason to buy these adorable little articles of clothing! Of course it only gets better. The baby is born, and the fashion show begins. Family is coming over, pictures are being taken, and you secretly hope that their diaper leaks so you can justify changing them into yet another cute little outfit.

Like everything with kids, this stage passes all too soon. You go from having total control over their little wardrobe, to suddenly finding yourself with a toddler who has an entirely different sense of what “pretty” or “handsome” means. That sweet dress your mom brought over? Forget it – she wants to wear her Tinkerbell shirt (again). Asking your son to put on some clothes so you can go to the park? He comes back wearing his Spiderman costume from Halloween.

All of us moms know that children have a way of putting together the craziest outfits imaginable. My two year old has insisted on wearing sunglasses at night, a sundress in December, and likes to pair bright pink cowboy boots with fluffy skirts. If only we all had her courage and lack of self-consciousness! And with this sense of independence and wanting to dress themselves, comes a new parenting question. When do you insist on having it your way, and when do you let them get creative?

Although all young children tend to gravitate towards a free spirited fashion sense, not all moms are happy about this. I have had many moments where I cringe at what my toddler or preschooler has picked out. And of course there are those occasions when we, as moms, really should step in. Dressing for the weather, ensuring they dress modestly, and making sure my kids look appropriate for various events is part of my job as a parent. Even if it’s cute around the house, letting them wear their swimsuits or pajamas when it’s time to do family portraits wouldn’t be doing anyone any favors.

Every parent falls into some sort of grey area on this subject, and really there is no right or wrong approach. The goal is to make sure your kids are wearing something when they leave the house. If you’re one of those moms who thinks dress up is cute at the grocery store, go for it. Or, if you want to make sure that their hair bows always match their skirts, more power to you. There are, however, a few things to consider. Whether you are free spirited or more structured with your children’s wardrobe, I think that it’s important to remember the following basics when it comes to kids and their sense of style:

• Pick your battles. If you let them “win” here and there, they may be a little easier when you do insist on having them wear a certain thing. No one likes to be told what to do 100% of the time, and letting them have their way sometimes can often set the stage for winning another clothing battle down the road. And if your child is old enough to compromise with, this may be a good opportunity to demonstrate that. “Well Logan, you can wear your Transformer dress up and rain boots to Grandma’s today, but I’d like you to wear jeans and a t-shirt to the park tomorrow.”
• Even if you want to be easy going, consider practicality. Weather should always overrule a child’s desire to express their fashion sense. Even if my four year old looks devastated when I say “no” to her request to wear a short dress in two feet of snow, I know I’m doing the right thing. And of course there are issues like going out for sundaes in white T-shirts, wearing a brand new pair of pants to a finger painting party, or pulling out a favorite T-shirt when it’s clearly filthy (because your two year old insists on wearing it). There are certainly times when common sense needs to reign, even if they have other ideas. You are the parent, and sometimes that means drawing a line on what they shouldn’t walk out the door in.
  
• Kids are kids. Remember that! I once listened to a mom explain that she would never want her daughter to wear clothing with characters on it, because she felt it was tacky. Minnie Mouse T-shirts or Barbie sneakers? Forget it – this mom was all about having her kid dressing top notch. Now, I can’t blame her for wanting to continue to play “dress up” for as long as possible with her daughter. After all, her sweet little girl looked adorable in every outfit her mom carefully chose for her. However, kids need to be kids. They love Little Einsteins, Disney Princesses, and Cars. It would drive my daughters crazy if I never let them wear shoes and clothes with their favorite characters on it, and even if I am not crazy about Hello Kitty, my four year old daughter is. I consider this falling into the category of “let it go,” and accept the fact that they aren’t going to always want to look like the kid on the front of the Hanna Andersson catalogue. And you know what? It’s part of what makes them who they are, and it’s part of being a kid.
  
• Consider your motivation. One thing I’ve learned since becoming a mom is that there is a certain level of “look what a good job I’m doing” that goes along with even the smallest little decisions we make. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, given that we all want to show our family and friends that we not only can handle being a parent, but are doing a pretty good job at it. Of course I want my parents to be proud of me, and my friends to think I have it (sort of) together. However, I am not about to battle my toddler on clothing just to show up at playgroup with a matching, coordinated and perfectly groomed princess. Frankly, it’s just not worth it. The important thing to have a happy, healthy child – and if anyone is going to judge you for showing up at library story time with a kid in mismatching clothes, let that be their problem.
  

The bottom line is that you are the mom, and they are the kid. Let yourself have the freedom to say “no” when you need to, but also let them have the room to express themselves and be creative. Children are only little for a short time, and soon you will be looking back fondly on these days. And remember this – if you think that clothing is an issue now, just wait till they become teenagers!

-Grace

Related posts:

1. Drawing the Line Between Sweet and Not-So-Sweet
2. 5 Reasons to Host a Clothing Swap
3. How To Be A Fantastic Parent (Guest Post)

We have all read the books and the theories behind how to get your baby to sleep through the night. There are many tricks, theories, and heated debates about getting a good night’s sleep when you have a newborn at home. But what about when that baby’s still in your body? Getting an uninterrupted night’s sleep isn’t as easy as you think when you are dealing with morning sickness, heartburn, or a huge baby in your belly.

If you’re pregnant and having trouble sleeping at night, consider the following:

• Don’t drink fluids late into the evening. Try drinking as much water and other fluids as you can during the main part of the day, and try to taper off as evening approaches. Personally, I try and avoid drinking anything past 7pm, which I find helps me get a better night’s sleep. Downing a bottle of water right before bed is only going to result in you hopping up at 1am to run to the bathroom.
  
• If you find yourself struggling with heartburn, eat a few Tums right before you turn out the lights. Peppermint Tums are easy, especially if you have morning sickness. Try munching on a few throughout the day, but especially remember to eat two or three right before you climb into bed. Keep the bottle on your nightstand, for those times you may wake up in the middle of the night with heartburn.
• Let yourself wind down emotionally and mentally – not just physically. Not only should you avoid exercise late at night (assuming you actually have the energy for vigorous exercise!), but you should also let your mind be restful as well. This is a season in life when your thoughts may be racing 24 hours a day, and so it’s no surprise if you find yourself laying awake at night. There are so many questions, decisions, and plans to be made that it can be overwhelming and intimidating. Rather than letting yourself get worked up when you should be falling asleep, try to find a routine that promotes a quiet, calm mind. Warm baths, lavender scented candles or lotions, and soft music can be very calming. Personally, I find that just sitting with my husband watching a TV show while he rubs my feet is enough to get my thoughts off of everything that’s on my mind these days. (Note: while certain teas can be recommended to promote a restful night’s sleep, just remember that it may be one more thing for your bladder to use against you at 1am!)
• Let your husband take care of your other child (or children) at night. For example, last night our four year old daughter came into our room after having a nightmare. Yes, my instinct was to jump up and console her, but I fought that instinct and let my husband take care of her. First of all, she came in to see him. Not only is she absolutely in love with her father, but it’s so sweet and heartwarming to see how he is with her. He took great care of her, and soothed her after her nightmare. I laid there and (though I felt a bit guilty) more or less pretended to be asleep. I knew that he was doing a great job with her, and if I were to wake myself up any further it would only make it harder to go back to sleep. Remember that dads can do just as good of a job as we moms can, so rest easy and go back to sleep.
• Invest in a body pillow during your third trimester. When you are approaching the finish line, it can be hard to find a good position to sleep in. I usually make due sleeping with three pillows (head, belly and between my knees), but also consider a body pillow or some other pregnancy support pillow. There are plenty of products designed specifically for pregnant women, and it’s worth looking into. The Boppy Pregnancy Comfort Cuddle Pillow looks so comfy, I’m pretty sure I’ll be picking one of these up once I hit my third trimester.

Making a baby is hard work. Rest up, and do what you can to get a good night’s sleep during this time in your life. And remember, once the baby arrives, you’ll be researching a whole different set of sleeping tips!

-Grace

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2. Lose the Baby Weight – 10 Easy Tips
3. 10 Great Etsy Gifts for Pregnant Friends

Motherhood is truly one of the most rewarding (if not THE most rewarding) experiences out there. We give birth to this amazing little person who captures our heart the moment we lay eyes on them, and our love continues to grow throughout their childhood. Even in the midst of sleepless nights, temper tantrums, and preschooler attitudes, our love for our child only grows.

As amazing as bringing a child into this world is, what about the process of actually carrying that child? While some of us sail through pregnancy with mild queasiness in the beginning and a bit of a backache towards the end, there are many of us gals who seem to draw the short end of the pregnancy stick. “Morning” sickness? Ha! Try “all day” sickness. Then of course there’s heartburn, extreme fatigue, weird skin discolorations, and gaining so much weight in your face that the guy at the pool gate can’t recognize your pool pass (yes, that happened to me. Sigh.).

The good news, of course, is that we get a baby out of this nonsense. Now that I look at my children, there is nothing I wouldn’t go through for them. Morning sickness seems like a small price to pay for the two little girls who now run around my house giggling, curls bouncing up and down, pretending to be dinosaurs from “The Land Before Time.” I’m very thankful for this perspective and reminder that it’s worth it, considering the past few weeks I have had. The good news is that we are expecting our third child. The bad news? Morning sickness hit early, and with far more fury and ferocity than I expected.

Now that I’m going through morning sickness for the third time, I feel like I’ve really learned quite a bit when it comes to managing it. That being said, it’s still something that can be unpredictable and uncertain. Some women swear by ginger ale or cola syrup, while others find no relief from it at all. B vitamins have been known to help some expectant mothers, but I personally felt even sicker after taking mine. It really does depend on the individual, but I think it’s good to have a variety of tricks up your sleeve to try if you are having a rough time during that first trimester.

These are some things that I’ve learned along the way, tips that my girlfriends and I have picked up during our many collective pregnancies. I hope some of these work for you!

• If it doesn’t smell good, don’t eat it. Just trust me… if it doesn’t smell appealing, it won’t taste appealing. Even if it’s something you would normally enjoy, trust your nose! Smell and taste are very closely related, and you need to go with your gut on what to eat.
• Don’t be afraid to try remedies that your friends recommend, even if at first it doesn’t sound like a good idea. For instance, my best friend recommended peppermint tea. The thing is, I have never liked tea. I’ve always been a coffee person, though these days it smells and looks rather disgusting to me. Well, I decided to go out on a limb and try the tea. As it turns out, apparently I now like tea! Not only did it taste good, but she was right – the peppermint really did settle my stomach, and the warm aroma was very comforting and soothing.
• Just a rundown of things to try: Ginger (ginger ale, ginger snaps, ginger tea, ginger root capsules), cola syrup, B vitamins (ask your pharmacist), “Preggie Pops” (found at Motherhood Maternity), tea (peppermint, or other pregnancy teas) and bland foods. Stay away from things that are spicy, or strong in flavor and smell.
• Be honest with your doctor. During my 8 week checkup, I almost started crying when I tried to explain that morning sickness was significantly worse this time. I felt desperate, but still a bit embarrassed to bring it up. For some reason, I had it in my head that I should just smile and endure whatever first trimester fun awaited me, and do it with as little complaining as possible. Well, as my husband put it, “Don’t be a pregnancy martyr.” I explained to my OB what I’d been experiencing, and she immediately wrote me a prescription. After a couple of different medications and varying doses (and lots of communication with the nurses) I think I’ve found the right meds to help me through the rest of my first trimester. Now, I’m not suggesting that every pregnant woman requires a prescription to manage morning sickness (I didn’t the first two pregnancies), but if you are experiencing very severe morning sickness, let your doctor know. They know where to draw the line, and they know at what point to call the pharmacy. The bottom line is communication.
• Trust your instincts. If macaroni and cheese is the only thing you can eat, that’s ok! Don’t feel pressure to eat all of your fruits and veggies – especially if they’re just going to come right back up. Take your prenatal vitamin, and do the best you can about what to eat. You can worry about a balanced diet when you have more control over your gag reflex.
• Try taking your prenatal vitamin at night, or try Flintstones. There’s no rule that says you have to take your prenatal vitamin first thing each day. In fact, that may be the worst thing you can do! At my 8 week checkup, my doctor suggested I take my vitamin at night, so that if it did cause an upset stomach (which it always does) I would sleep through the nausea. So far it’s worked well, and I’m thankful for the suggestions. Also, if your regular vitamin is upsetting your stomach, try taking two Flintstones vitamins instead. My doc recommended this during my first pregnancy, and it worked really well for me.
• Always keep something on your stomach. Letting yourself get too hungry is a recipe for disaster. Do what you can to eat small meals throughout the day, even if it means eating every two hours (which I do). Nausea is always worse when your stomach gets empty, so try to be proactive and keep something in your tummy at all times.

If you’re going through morning sickness right now, my heart goes out to you. It can be a rotten experience… but with an unbelievable reward. Just remember that in a few short months, all of this will be worth it beyond your wildest dreams. It won’t last forever, so hang in there!

-Grace

Related posts:

1. 10 Things Never to Say to a Pregnant Woman
2. 15 Pregnancy Perks
3. Pregnant? Tips on How to Sleep Through the Night

By Leo Babauta, editor of Zen Family Habits

As parents, we’re always looking for ways to improve our child’s life, from decisions like what school he should attend to long-term worries like paying for his college education.

But we often forget that it’s the little things that really matter — the things we do today, with the kid, that will shape his life.

These things don’t have to be huge, or expensive, or time-consuming. We can take a few minutes out of each day to do one of these little things, and it’ll make a big difference, over the long term.

Don’t have the time? Try shutting off the computer after 6 p.m. and not doing email or web browsing. Try shutting off the TV and any other media, and just make time for these things.

There are many little things you can do, but here are 6 good ones.

1. Read. The best way to improve your child’s education is to read to her. Daily, if possible. It doesn’t much matter what you read, as long as you’re doing it. It’s a great way to bond, it doesn’t take a lot of time or effort, and it’s a lot of fun for both you and the child. When you read to your child, she learns language, learns to read and become a self-educator, learns the importance of reading, because you’re spending time doing it with her. Here are my favorite children’s books.
2. Talk. Just sit on the couch, or go for a walk outside, and have a simple chat. What’s on your child’s mind? What has she been playing today? What has she been wondering about? What worries her? What does she love? A conversation, like language, teaches your child an essential skill — how to use language — and also gives you some quality bonding time.
3. Snuggle. It takes seconds, and it matters. Your child loves to have human contact (as we all do), and in fact it’s a human need. It can be a simple hug, it can be laying together and cuddling, it can be manly if you’re not comfortable with hugging — just wrestle.
4. Remove your shield. Parents today are overprotective, with their parental controls on the Internet and selecting every TV show and movie the child watches and not letting them play with fire or go outside for fear of them getting hurt. It treats the kid like a baby, which leaves him totally unprepared for the real world and leaves his brain without the development that comes from trying complex, risky things and having the freedom to play and make decisions. Remove your shield, today, and allow your child to play outdoors, play with knives, play with fire — but teach him how to do it without killing himself.
5. Get them excited. This isn’t necessarily as hard as it sounds. It’s as simple as playing a fun game, learning about something cool (dinosaurs, space, rockets, chemistry, animals, how video games are made, kung fu, and so on). When your child gets excited, and you do as well, he learns what it’s like to be passionate about something, to learn about something that fascinates you, to do it and put what you’ve learned into action. That’ll translate to any career, and to life in general.
6. Trust. We parents find it hard to trust our children, it seems, even if we won’t admit it. Stop watching over them all the time, stop putting shackles on them, stop treating them like their opinion doesn’t matter, stop being so authoritative and ask for their help and their thoughts and their input into decisions that affect them. Trust them, instead, and they’ll grow to deserve that trust, and grow because of that trust.

6 Things You Can Do Today to Change Your Child’s Life [Zen Family Habits]

[Editor's note: Thanks to Leo Babauta for his post on things we can do to help improve our children's life. I agree very much with these tips, and think that oftentimes we really do focus more on the outside things in our kids' lives, rather than the smaller things that matter most.]

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1. Make Your Life Easier – Multi Task
2. A 3 Step Method for Calming Down a Child
3. How to Let Go of Hyperparenting and Learn to Relax With Your Kids

Every once in a while I will splurge on something for one or both of my daughters. Although I usually shop sales and off season clearances, I’ve certainly been known to splurge from time to time. Whether it baby shoes I saw in a magazine for my youngest, bringing our older daughter to a Coldplay concert, or buying them their favorite movie on Blu-Ray, I’ve gone beyond my normal spending habits before. Being a parent is so full of responsibilities and always having to make smart (and sometimes boring) choices, so splurging once in a while on the non-necessities can be really fun.

Well, if I ever felt bad about any of those little luxuries, I certainly don’t now! After reviewing some of these baby and child products (many that cost more than my mortgage bill), I was blown away. Suddenly paying $30 for infant shoes seems pretty harmless!

How to Go Broke: Over-the-Top Kid Gear [Mom Logic]

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By Sherri Kruger, editor at Zen Family Habits

As the clock strikes midnight on the first of January each year there are countless resolutions that also get made. There are the usual suspects: lose a bit of weight, eat better and exercise. Then there are the more personal resolutions, like volunteer, control my spending, and stop biting my nails.

The one thing most resolutions have in common is their quick demise. Resolutions usually don’t work and don’t last for many people. From what I see the changes are too drastic and are usually done all at once. Resolutions are typically made on your own and carried out on your own. Without the right motivation and realistic outlook and expectations on your plans/goals/resolutions for the year, you are almost certainly going to fall short. In this particular case slow and steady wins the race.

Most resolutions are self-centered. It’s not often you hear about people making resolutions with their whole family. Well let this year be different for you and yours.

Sit down as a family and discuss some areas of your family life that could use a little tweaking, strengthening or establishing. There are always things to work on and it won’t happen unless someone makes it happen. So why not let it be you? Take initiative and get going.

Here are a few ideas that may inspire you to find ways to rock your family in 2010.

1. One on one time. If you have kids establish a sort of date night with them individually. You may feel guilty for leaving the other children out but they will have their turn. Choose one night a week or one weekend a month and do something just you and your child. They love spending time with you and when they don’t have to compete for your attention they can become different people all together.

2. Family time. Just as important as giving your children individual attention it’s important to spend quality time together as a group. Start a family night tradition. Agree on one night a week where the TV is off, phones are off and you all play a game, exercise, go for a walk or a swing in the park. It’s up to you what you do but make it happen and be consistent. After a few weeks of this I know you will all be looking forward to it!

3. Be spontaneous and create fun rituals. Do something crazy and totally uncharacteristic. Jason left a comment on the post 5 Activities For You and Your Family sharing an idea for an activity that I can’t wait to do when my kids are a bit older. Jason writes:

Two words: Pajama Run.

About 15-20 minutes after the kids get put down to bet, Mom and/or Dad burst into the bedroom banging on pots and pans, shouting “Pajama Run!”

Everybody gets up out of bed and, still in their pajamas, hops into the car and heads to the local ice cream place for a late night treat! I recommend this for school nights, as it’s most surprising for the kids. Grandparents can even get in on the fun by calling up the parents ahead of time and doing some secretive advance planning.

4. Eat together as a family. Eating dinner together is a great way to catch up and reconnect with your family. It gives you all a chance to talk about your day, what was good about it and what wasn’t so good about it. Try your best to eliminate distractions such as phones, TVs or computers and just enjoy each others company.

5. Get excited about something. There are just some activities that are more fun when you do them as a part of a group. Learn something new – golf, tennis, pottery, yoga or self defense. Learning something new as a family will not only bring you closer but you’ll have a ton of fun and this built in support team will help keep you motivated to keep showing up.

Resist the temptation to focus on the wrong priority and create a family life that is chaotic, disconnected and stressful. Stand up and make this year different. Have fun with it. Start small and make gradual, deliberate changes.  If you need a little help along the way check out Leo’s site 6changes.com which is “the antidote to the failure of New Year’s Resolutions.”

Rock Your Family In 2010 [Zen Family Habits]

[Editor's note: Thanks to Sherri Kruger for her post on New Year's Resolutions that include the whole family. It's so encouraging to read fresh ideas for how to bring one's family closet together, and now is the perfect time to make these sorts of commitments.]

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1. Your Ideal Family: How To Make It A Reality
2. Attainable New Year’s Resolutions
3. Simple Family Traditions

Once my daughter turned 2, other moms started asking me if I was going to be sending her to preschool. I was a bit taken aback, considering that she was still in diapers. My little girl was still toddling around the house, just learning to talk… I couldn’t imagine dropping her off at school quite yet. My husband and I tabled the thought of preschool, and once she started to get closer to her fourth birthday we revisited the idea.

We decided that she would really enjoy preschool, and I would enjoy having some alone time with my two year old while her big sister was in school. I began looking into different schools, not sure what to expect. When I asked friends, some suggested a few wonderful schools – but with very high tuition. I even had another mom explain to me that I really should send my daughter to a particular (very expensive!) preschool, because we had to make those sorts of sacrifices for our children. It was as if I would be depriving my daughter of something very important if I didn’t send her to a top preschool, and it was my duty as a parent to just accept tuition that was much more than our family could afford.

In the end, we chose a very inexpensive, low key school for our four year old. She attends two mornings each week, and loves it. They play together, do crafts, and are learning a different letter of the alphabet each week. I am so happy with our decision, because it is what is best for our family as a whole. My husband and I aren’t stressed when we write a check each month, and she is having fun with other kids each week as she learns her ABCs. Although I know that she would have been just fine if we had elected not to send her to preschool at all, I am glad that we found a school that fits our budget and fulfills her desire to be around other kids and feel like a “big kid.”

I came across this post from The Simple Dollar, and I really wanted to share it. I think it’s important to balance your priorities and make sure that the things we spend our money on are worth it – and that includes preschool. Whether or not you’re trying to decide if your child should go at all, or which preschool is best, it’s important to weigh the pros and the cons.

Is Preschool Worth It? [the simple dollar]

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Ok, I’ll admit it: growing up, I was one of those girls who used to stick a pillow under her shirt and look in the mirror, day dreaming of the day I’d become a mommy.  I always knew that I wanted kids, and looked forward to the day when that dream would become a reality.  When I was newly pregnant with our first daughter, I was on cloud nine.   I loved thinking, reading, and talking about my pregnancy.   Despite my euphoric haze, though, there are a few things I wished I had known at the time:

1. Don’t worry so much. In general.   This is a broad suggestion, but I really wish I had not worried so much.  If you had a beer the night before you found out you’re pregnant, the baby is fine.  If you ate three hot dogs and then read that pregnant women shouldn’t eat hot dogs, make a mental note and move on.  And don’t worry about being a good mom – you’ll be just fine.
2. Morning sickness will probably not be what you expect. I was shocked, and convinced I had the flu the first week (even though I knew I was pregnant).  Just remember that if it hits you hard, it will pass.  Also, you may be one of the lucky ones who don’t get it, or who feel mildly queasy and that’s it.  Just don’t set up expectations, like expecting to only get sick in the morning, or thinking that it ends right at 12 weeks.  Let your body do what it’s going to do, and just hang in there!
3. Buy frozen foods and a lot of convenience food before you start feeling nauseous.  I wish I had done this – we would have saved a ton of money on take-out and fast food!  You may be fine and keep cooking as usual, but I was way too sick to stand the smell of raw meat, doing dishes, or anything else that triggered my gag reflex.  Buy frozen lasagna, frozen dinners, and lots of snack stuff.  Also stock up on paper plates.  Having things on hand will be very helpful when you are either feeling too tired or too sick to cook.
4. If you take everyone’s advice too seriously, you’ll make yourself miserable. Every one has an opinion, and over the course of your pregnancy, you are going to hear tons of stories, lots of warnings, and plenty of advice.  Take it all with a grain of salt – and don’t let it stress you out.  Society feels the responsibility to educate and advise pregnant women on just about everything, but it often just causes more stress.  Let it roll off of your back.
   
5. Don’t be in a rush to wear maternity clothes. I was so excited during my first pregnancy to finally “look pregnant,” I rushed into maternity clothes. I could have gone another month or so, but I was just too excited. Trust me – you will have plenty of time to wear those clothes (and you’ll get sick of them), so enjoy your regular clothes while you still can.
6. Invest in a belly band. This will extend the life of your pre-pregnancy pants, and will help you with your clothing options. These wonderful things are nice, stretchy bands that enable you to walk around with your pants unzipped, while still held up in place with a nice band covering the zipper.  (An added benefit of these bands – they help you get back into your old jeans after having the baby, when you are still carrying some baby weight in your middle.)  My favorite is the Bella Band.  You can find them at ingrid & isabel.
7. Don’t obsess about your pregnancy. When people ask you how you are feeling, try not to go into a monologue about how you threw up yesterday, need to pee every hour, and then give them a long list of all the baby names you are considering.  When it comes down to it, most people are asking to be polite.  It’s completely normal to want to gush about your pregnancy, but just remember that non-pregnant people may not be as interested as you are in certain things.  I was bad about that when I was pregnant with my first, so I can completely understand this – and I wish I had realized it at the time.  It’s better to save the gory details for a pregnancy journal, your mom, or your best friend.
8. A regular soda here and there is fine. Dr. Pepper helped me make it through the end of my first trimester – I wish I had lightened up earlier on.  Sure, you aren’t supposed to have tons of caffeine – but a smidge here and there won’t hurt.
9. Avoid saying, “I will never do that!” Before you actually become a parent, you just don’t know.  You may end up co-sleeping with your baby, deciding to get the epidural, or stop nursing after a couple of months.  Keep an open mind, and don’t set yourself up for a disappointment.
10. Don’t feel bad about sleeping in. Sleep while you can.  Trust me.
11. Buy at least one or two fabulous nursing bras. I made the mistake of buying cheap nursing bras when I was still pregnant with my first baby, thinking it didn’t matter.  Well, think again.  You will need a lot of support during those first few months.  I am in love with Bravado bras, because (a) they are crazy comfy, (b) you can sleep in them, and (c) these bras come in many patterns and colors.  I have four of the “original nursing bras” and I love them.  My favorite is the leopard print – just because you’re nursing doesn’t mean you can’t still be hot!
12. Be clear about what you want before and after labor, but don’t come up with an elaborate birth plan that spells out exactly how you want it to go.   Labor and delivery are full of surprises, so don’t set yourself up thinking it will go a certain way.  Do be clear on what you want regarding pain meds, who is allowed in the room with you, the doc’s policy on episiotomies, etc.
13. You don’t need as much as you think. I was so OCD when I was pregnant.  I worried way too much about “getting ready” for the baby, and looking back, I realize now it was bit overboard.  When it comes down to it, Target will still exist after you arrive home from the hospital.  You husband can go out and buy a bouncy seat or some extra blankets when you are resting at home with the baby, so don’t worry about having everything just right.
14. Let the hospital nursery take the baby overnight.  They will still bring your baby in to nurse during the night, but at least you’ll get some sleep.  We chose to “room in” with our first baby, because I was concerned that I’d look bad if I sent her to the nursery.  Big mistake.  Let the nurses take care of the baby while you have the opportunity – you will have plenty of sleepless nights once you arrive home.
15. Above all, I wish I had known how much I’d love my kids. I know this sounds cheesy, but it’s true.   You have absolutely no idea how much you are going to fall in love with your children until you are staring into their tiny faces at 5am, counting their eyelashes.  Once you realize how much you love that little person you saw on the ultrasound screen, it blows your mind.  Motherhood is out of this world.  Sit back, relax, and enjoy the months leading up to it.

- Grace

Related posts:

1. 15 Pregnancy Perks
2. Packing For The Hospital: 7 Things to Not Forget
3. 10 Things Never to Say to a Pregnant Woman

Some people love to grocery shop, others absolutely hate it.  Personally, I have been in both of those camps.  For me, it all depends on who is coming along with me.

Let me start by saying that I am at the point right now where I do my grocery shopping on the weekends, without my kids.  I know that plenty of moms out there take their kids along during the week to run their errands, and I know I could as well.  Usually, my kids are fine on smaller errands at different stores.  They love Costco, are well behaved in Target, and think the mall is equivalent to Disney World.  I do consider my kids pretty well behaved, however, I know their limits.

I took my older daughter grocery shopping with me when she was a baby and a toddler, before her sister was born.  I never thought twice about it – it was easy.  Then, her sister was born.  Her colicky, “I hate my car seat,” little sister.  That was rough, and I tried taking them both a few times.  That didn’t last long.  I wore my baby in a sling or a front carrier, but the trip usually ended in tears (both of us) while my older daughter quietly watched the chaos.  It got better as they became older, and at one point it was easy.  My one year old sat nicely and played with toys, while my three year old rode in the little car attached to the front of the grocery cart.  It was easy, and it didn’t last.

Now that I have a two year old and a four year old, I realize it’s just too much of a hassle to take them grocery shopping.  And yes, I know I could bring them along – but frankly I don’t want to.  I just don’t see how I can ask kids that age to (a) sit still in a cart, (b) walk beside me without grabbing stuff, and (c) not get incredibly bored for the hour that it takes.  I see other moms doing it, and I applaud them – I’m just not one of them.

I don’t expect to continue my weekend grocery trips for very long, though.  My four year old actually starts preschool this week, and I think that having her removed from the equation will make grocery shopping much easier.  Just having my two year old to interact with will probably give me enough brain power to both shop and keep her entertained (and well behaved) at the same time.  I’m hoping my prediction is accurate, so I can stop spending my Saturday mornings at the store (even though it is a nice break…).

Looking back over the past four years, here are some of the best lessons I’ve learned for grocery shopping with kids.

• Always, always park near the cart return. This may be a no-brainer, but I have to say it anyway.  (Also, some stores do have pregnant-lady parking, up close to the store.  This is helpful if you only need one or two things, or if this is your first baby and you are still shopping alone.)
• Try to get one of those carts that are made for moms with children. Sometimes they have little cars in the front of the cart where kids can sit, or perhaps there is an addition to the cart with seats for kids to sit.  These carts are great, as well as the carts that are found in warehouse stores.  Costco’s carts sit two children in the seat, instead of only one.
• Look for a store that has child-care. These wonderful places do exist! My local store provided this free of charge, for ages 3 and up.
• Order your groceries online, and pick them up at the front of the store. If you have a new baby who fusses way too much to spend an hour or two at the store, consider online grocery shopping.  It is more expensive, but I assure you it is well worth it.  When I had my second daughter, I spent the first three months online grocery shopping at the local Harris Teeter.  It was such a blessing to have this service, and it made my life so much easier!
• Pack snacks, and remind your kids that you have them. Say something like, “once we get to the part of the store with the milk, I will give you that juice box.”  If your kid knows that good behavior will earn them some animal crackers half-way through the trip, it will keep them focused both before and after you break out the animal crackers.
• Have your infant nap while you shop. Shopping with a newborn or an infant can be easy, or hard.  It all depends on your kid.  If you have a baby who sleeps well in their car seat, consider timing your outing with their nap.  Ideally, the car ride will put them to sleep.  Once you arrive at your destination, you can remove the infant seat from the infant base in the car, and carry your sleeping baby into the store.
• Avoid bathroom breaks. If you have a child who is potty trained, make sure and have them use the bathroom before you head to the grocery store.  If the child is newly potty trained, have them go again at the store before you actually begin your shopping.  And always bring spare pants, just in case.
• Consider where your kids are at. For my kids, after breakfast and before lunch is the best time for an outing.  Make sure your children are full and well rested before you take them to the store.  Decide when their best time of day is, and tackle the store during that time period.
• Last of all, DO NOT compare yourself to any other moms.  If your kid has temper tantrum at the store, you can be sure that the mom in the next aisle has dealt with that as well.  If you have the kid who opens up a box of cereal and dumps it all over the aisle, don’t worry.  Clean it up and move on.  People have either been in your shoes before, or they will someday.  Keep shopping, and don’t worry about it.

- Grace

Related posts:

1. Preventing Injuries While Out With Kids
2. Toddlers and Their Tantrums – Tips to Handle It
3. Do You Save Money by Shopping Around?

One of the things that surprised me about breastfeeding was just how thirsty it made me! I was prepared to feel extra hungry and tired, but didn’t expect to be toting around a huge water bottle everywhere. And because nursing moms have to watch what we drink, we can’t keep ourselves hydrated by triple espressos and margaritas. What goes in us, goes in baby. This is why I was happy to see Mamaista’s blog today, which features a drink made specifically for breastfeeding moms.

Breastfeeding Made Easy [mamaista]

Related posts:

1. Lowered Blood Pressure – Yet Another Breastfeeding Benefit
2. Breastfeeding For Your Child’s Future
3. Do You Drink Too Much Coffee?