The Mom's Cheat Sheet » Infants

Struggle With Your Temper? You’re Not Alone!

admin — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 09:24:42 +0000

We all have those moments. Whether it’s sleep deprivation, too much on our plates, or a particularly rough moment during the day – we find ourselves frustrated and angry. Having little kids can be hard sometimes, and we moms are only human. Whether you work outside of the home and have to juggle all sorts of priorities, or are a stay-at-home mom who feels swamped by motherhood – it can be challenging sometimes. Temper tantrums out in public, battles of the will over broccoli, and the pressure of always being “on” are enough to make most people frazzled at best.

It’s no surprise that we moms sometimes lose our cool – but what do you think of the following post?

Moms With Young Kids Are The Angriest Americans [Parent Dish]

How To Be A Fantastic Parent (Guest Post)

admin — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 13:49:31 +0000

[Editor's note: Thanks to Sherri Kruger for her post on being parenting. I really enjoyed this article, and I think that that these are some excellent points. As a mom who often tries to do things "by the book," this is good advice for me to relax, let the kids get dirty, have some down time, and just enjoy being a parent.]

By Sherri Kruger, at Zen Family Habits

Once you have kids the responsibility of raising, educating and loving these little people is instantly bestowed upon you. As parents we have a very important role in shaping our kids to be good contributing members of society.

Parenthood is a journey. A long journey. As our kids grow up they are constantly changing and new challenges present themselves at every turn.

A sense of empowerment as a parent will help you when it comes to raising your kids. Empowerment leads to greater confidence, consistency and dependability in whatever life throws at you.

One thing I think we all have in common, as parents, is that we want to be fantastic ones. Here are some ways that we can get closer to that goal.

1. Begin with the end in mind. Take a minute to think about the type of parent you want to be. Close your eyes and picture what it means to you to be a fantastic parent. By starting with the end in mind we have something to work towards. We can live each day with this end goal in mind and align our actions with it.

2. Family schedule. Things can get a little hectic when you and your kids are active outside of the home. Keep everyone on the same page and prevent activities from slipping through the cracks by creating a family schedule or routine. Involve all family members so you each have a say in how your days, evenings and weekends will unfold. Being well organized will make this part of parenting just a little bit easier.

3. Revisit your priorities. Set your priorities and don’t expect to be able to do it all. It is very true that when you say yes to something you say no to something else. Don’t over commit. What we usually say no to is down time, time with loved ones or hobbies and activities that we are passionate about. When kids are napping let the laundry sit, do the dishes when they wake up and just rest. After the kids are in bed does it really matter that the floor wasn’t swept? Likely not. Leave it and get started on that book you’ve wanted to read.

4. Solicit advice from people you trust. When you first start a family there is a wealth of advice out there and make no mistake you’ll get it whether you want it or not. Some advice can be really good like “sleep when the baby sleeps” and “trust your instincts” but there is also some advice that is not so good. Solicit advice from people you trust, people who have been there before and who’s opinion you value. Listen to what they have to say, be open to it and try their suggestions if you think it’s something that might work.

5. Spend quality time with your kids. There is nothing your kids like more than spending time with you. Play a game, laugh, reminisce, and be silly. Curl up and read a book, watch a movie or just talk. Talk about your day, what they want to do in the future, places they’d like to visit. Spending time with your kids just talking will give you a lot of insight into who they are.

6. Show them respect. These little people are just that little people. They have feelings, needs, and wants just like us big kids. They should be shown respect for their ideas, their abilities, and their strengths. We all have personal space and know how it feels to have it violated by someone who stands just a little too close. Our kids are no different. Standing too close and towering over them is intimidating even if you don’t intend it to be. Respect their personal space.

7. Love your kids but set limits. It’s important to show our kids we love them. Be affectionate and say the words “I love you”. It won’t hurt and it can’t be over stated. You may think well of course I love my kids and they know it. Maybe … or maybe not. Showing your kids you love them doesn’t mean giving in to their every demand. You still need to set limits. Instead of punishment I like to think of it as teaching my kids. Teaching them what’s appropriate and what’s not as it applies to the real world. Believe me I’m not perfect, but this is what I aim for.

8. Lead by example. Kids rarely “do as I say, not as I do”. In fact it’s quite the opposite. Kids will mimic what they see. They learn by watching their parents. If you want your child to be respectful and mindful of others be respectful and mindful of others yourself. Tell the truth, have integrity, be courteous and polite, if these are in fact the values you wish to instill in your kids.

“Be the change you wish to see in the world” – Gandhi

9. Cultivate gratitude. Teach your kids to be grateful for what they have instead of longing for what they do not. There may be less of a sense of entitlement if they are taught to value people, life and relationships as opposed to things. Talk to your kids about what being a good person means. Ask them for examples of things they are grateful for each day.

10. Relax. In our effort to do everything right we run the risk of becoming uptight or “by the book”. When we relax and let things go the relationships we have with our kids can grow and thrive. Let kids be kids. Let them get dirty and play outside. In fact get out there with them and spend quality time with them. Relax the rules a bit where they don’t really matter. Pick your battles your relationship is more important than being right or proving a point.

Like many things being a fantastic parent takes a lot of work, and I think it’s worth every bit of effort. Live intentionally, get active and feel empowered. There’s a fantastic parent in you too!

This post and others can be found at Zen Family Habits. Provided by The Mom’s Cheat Sheet with the permission of the author.

How To Be A Fanstastic Parent

Lowered Blood Pressure – Yet Another Breastfeeding Benefit

admin — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 19:59:56 +0000

Most of us moms have heard of the benefits that breastfeeding comes with. Not only is great for your baby, free, and convenient, but it benefits your health, too. Nursing moms often enjoy quicker weight loss after pregnancy, lower chances of breast cancer, as well as other added benefits. One benefit that I was unaware of is something that I came across this morning in an article from USA Today -

“The longer women breast-fed, the lower their chance of developing metabolic syndrome, a cluster of risk factors such as high blood pressure and high triglycerides associated with obesity, the scientists found.”

I think it’s great that we are finding out more and more about the benefits of nursing. Since nursing can be a challenge at first (not to mention painful!) it is encouraging to read about the benefits for both mom and baby.

For the full article, see Breast-feeding may protect moms’ health [USA Today]

Gender Disappointment – Does The Color Blue Make YOU Blue?

admin — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 09:00:52 +0000

Since my husband and I have two girls, we are always being asked about our future plans and whether or not we’re hoping for a boy next. Because we want several children, I am in no hurry to even out the gender score. However, I’d be lying if I were to say that it didn’t matter to me. Of course it matters! That’s not to say that I wouldn’t be thrilled with another little girl, but I would definitely be beside myself to finally have a son. It’s a part of motherhood that I haven’t experienced yet, and I’m really excited for the day when I can buy a Spiderman t-shirt, pick out blue bedding, and finally take the time to watch the movie “Cars.”

Although many moms are happy with all girls or all boys, there are plenty of women out there who really struggle with gender disappointment. Many moms hope for a little boy or girl – and end up with the opposite. Plenty of families try several times for a son or daughter, and end up with a house full of all boys or all girls. For those of you who struggle with feelings of disappointment over your child’s gender, you’re not alone. This article from ABC news is very interesting, and hopefully something you’ll find comfort in.

It’s a Boy? Some Moms Struggle With Disappointment [ABC News]

How to Help a Friend Once the Baby Arrives

admin — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 19:22:01 +0000

We’ve all been there. It’s the end of your pregnancy, and you start making preparations to survive those first couple of weeks with your newborn. Once your baby arrives, your husband takes a few days or a week off work, family comes to town for a visit, and friends bring meals for a couple of weeks. Friends and family really help us adjust to life with a new baby, and without their help we’d really be up a creek! But what about after those first couple of weeks? What happens when your husband is back at work, family goes home, and the meals stop coming? What are we supposed to do then?

My friend Aimee recently emailed me with some thoughts on this subject. She has a beautiful new baby girl, and life so far seems to be going well with her new little family. However, Aimee raises an excellent point – while we are all thankful for the help we receive right after we come home from the hospital, what about when your baby is two or three weeks, old? A three week old is still nursing round the clock, getting up in the middle of the night, and requiring a lot of care. The mom, however, is usually on her own at this point, while friends and family may erroneously assume that life with the new baby is “easy” by now. (I’m laughing as I write that, by the way – it doesn’t get “easy” for a looooong time.)

So, with the help of Aimee, here are some things that we suggest friends and family can do to help out after the baby is born.

Help out with housekeeping for the new mom. Aimee suggests having someone come over and clean for an hour would be a lifesaver for any new mom. She is absolutely right! When your baby is two or three weeks old, you’re still not back into your regular housekeeping routine. Nursing around the clock and getting up three times each night is enough to make someone deliriously tired, and keeping the house in order is the last thing on a new mom’s to-do list. We suggest arranging for some help with the housework, whether it’s hiring a maid or offering to go clean yourself. Something that my in-laws did for me after the birth of our second baby was to come over and clean once a week. My husband’s younger brothers came over and tackled my bathrooms while my mother-in-law started dinner, and it was an absolute lifesaver.
Offer to go grocery shopping for your friend. If your friend has a new baby, offer to run by the store for her. Whether she needs a lot of groceries, or just a gallon of milk, it will be incredibly helpful if you do the shopping for her. Trust me – taking a newborn to the grocery store is risky business.
Give your friend the gift of alone time. Suggest that she feed the baby and put him down for a nap while you stay at the house. She can go out and get a manicure, have a cup of coffee, and take a few minutes to herself while you stay at the house with her sleeping infant. Watching a sleeping infant is an easy enough task, and it will do a world of good for your friend to have some time out by herself.
Last of all - if you are still pregnant consider this. If a friend wants to throw you a baby shower, suggest that guests bring a meal to freeze – instead of a gift. Having meals in your freezer will be a huge help when your baby is a few weeks old and you are just too tired to cook dinner that evening. This is a great shower idea as long as you are already having a traditional shower (you’ll still need baby stuff!), or if this is your second (or third, or fourth…) baby. In that case, you’ll probably have all of the baby gear you’ll need – so if a friend wants to throw you a baby shower, suggest that guests bring a meal to freeze for after the baby is born, in lieu of gifts. Make sure and be clear that these meals are for when your baby is a few weeks old, and you would still appreciate friends and family bringing meals over once you arrive home from the hospital. (Also, make sure you have freezer space for the meals you expect to receive.)

So moms, what do you think? Do you have any other suggestions for ways that friends and family can help out a new mom? Let me know if we’ve missed something!

-Grace

Do You Let Your Infant “Cry It Out”?

admin — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 19:02:30 +0000

Ah, this issue strikes a chord with many, many moms. Some moms out there cringe at the very thought of letting their baby cry it out, convinced that it will cause attachment issues or cause permanent damage. Others may have memorized “Baby Wise” and swear by the method of letting an infant cry themselves to sleep in order to teach them how to self soothe. Regardless of your stand, I think you’ll find the following article interesting (see the link below).

Personally, I’m on the fence. Our first baby was so easy; I never felt the need to let her cry herself to sleep. She slept when she was tired, ate when she was hungry, and was naturally on the schedule that most other babies her age were. I was naïve in assuming that this was due to my awesome parenting, because all of this changed when my second baby was born. Gone were my days of letting the baby set her own schedule, and I realized pretty quickly that what I was doing was not working. My new baby was nursing every hour, sleeping and eating only in spurts, and was clearly unhappy. It was clear that I needed to intervene and put her on a schedule – and fast. So I let her cry it out. I absolutely hated doing this, but it worked. After a few days, she began sleeping and eating on a regular schedule, and the change in her was amazing. She was happier, well rested, and well fed. Although that week of letting her cry it out was awful, in the end we were left with a baby who knew how to put herself to sleep, and was in a routine that made us all much happier.

With that being said, I can see both sides of this issue. Before my second baby, I was convinced that letting a baby “cry it out” was wrong. And as often happens, I ended up seeing the other side of the story pretty soon after that, when I saw how it helped my second baby get into the routine she so desperately needed.

So, what do you think? The following article is interesting, and worth reading no matter what stance you take on this issue.

Crying it Out [babble via Mamaista]

Have You Bought a ‘Baby Einstein’ DVD? You Can Get a Refund.

admin — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 09:54:50 +0000

I remember being a new parent, hearing about these amazing Baby Einstein DVD’s that would make my baby smarter. We rented a few from the library, and my daughter was mesmerized. I wasn’t sure if they were making her “smarter” or not, but at least she was enjoying herself.

For those of you who have bought “Baby Einstein” DVD’s under the assumption that these videos would boost your baby’s brain power, you can actually get a refund. As it turns out (surprise, surprise), putting your baby in front of a video isn’t going to make them any smarter. And now, Disney is doing some back peddling as a result of claiming that these videos would make infants smarter.

“Last year, lawyers threatened a class-action lawsuit for unfair and deceptive practices unless Disney agreed to refund the full purchase price to all who bought the videos since 2004. ‘The Walt Disney Company’s entire Baby Einstein marketing regime is based on express and implied claims that their videos are educational and beneficial for early childhood development,’ a letter from the lawyers said, calling those claims ‘false because research shows that television viewing is potentially harmful for very young children.’”

For the full story, check out the article below.

No Einstein in Your Crib? Get a Refund [The New York Times]

Travelling? How to Baby-Proof Your Hotel Room

admin — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 16:13:48 +0000

Since we’ve had kids, we have been to plenty of hotel rooms with them. We’ve had crawlers, walkers, and full blown toddlers in rooms with us as we are travelling, and let me tell you – it can be interesting. It’s one thing to be in your own home with your baby, knowing where all of the potentially dangerous spots are. Thanks to baby gates, plugs in outlets, and table bumpers, we can usually keep our little ones out of harms’ way. But what about in a hotel room?

If you plan on visiting a hotel anytime soon with your baby or toddler, be sure and check out this post from Delicious Baby.

Step By Step: Babyproofing a Hotel Room [Delicious Baby]

Binkies That Will Turn Heads

admin — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 02:25:22 +0000

It seems like forever since we’ve messed with a pacifier. My older daughter used one until shortly after she turned two, but my younger daughter never took to one. She kept making choking noises when we tried to get her to take one, so we just gave up.

Although it’s been a couple of years since I’ve been down that aisle at Target, it seems there is a bit more variety involved when it comes choosing a pacifier for your kid. Or was I just sleep deprived and didn’t notice the weird ones? Well, regardless of the reason, I wanted to post a link to this.

Suck It Up: 10 Pretty Weird Pacifiers [Mom Logic]

An Easy Way to Administer Meds to Your Baby

admin — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 18:53:38 +0000

Don’t you love it when it’s 2am, your baby is up with a cold, and you are trying to give her medicine in the dark? She gags, isn’t sure what to make of the dropper, and then the infant Motrin is all over you instead of in her. So you start over, hoping eventually you’ll succeed.

I came across this post from parent hacks today, and it’s awesome. This makes absolute sense to me, since babies are used to either nursing or drinking from a bottle. Check out this little gadget –

Nipple-Shaped Medicine Dispenser Works Well For Babies [parent hacks]