The Mom's Cheat Sheet » family

Is My Family Ready For a Dog?

admin — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 14:21:32 +0000

Now that our daughters are getting older, we’re starting to consider getting a dog. My two and four year old daughters have puppy fever (as do I) and are always stopping to point out dogs, ask to pet the dog down the street, and hoping to swing by the pet shop to see the puppies. My husband and I are wondering if it’s about time to add to our family – by getting a dog.

Making the decision to get a dog isn’t easy. There are many, many factors! Not only do we have to think about the monetary expenses, the space in our home and yard, and housebreaking a puppy, but there are things we keep coming across that add even more to the plate. We’re finding out that the question, “Is our family ready for a dog” is much more than a simple yes or no.

Puppy or older dog? Many families gravitate towards a puppy. Not only are they adorable, but it’s very appealing to raise a dog from the get-go. There is no baggage with a puppy, and you don’t have to worry about breaking bad habits or having to train a dog that is set in his or her ways. However, there are benefits of getting an older dog as well. Dogs that are out of the puppy stage won’t chew up your couch (or your kid’s toys!), are already housebroken, and you know what you are getting in terms of temperament.
Should we get a small, medium, or large breed? Consider your lifestyle. Do you have a large backyard and are planning to go on camping trips with your dog, or do you have a townhouse or an apartment? Little dogs can also be easier to take places, which is something to consider if you travel a lot. Personally, I like the idea of taking a small dog along for the weekend to visit a relative – and bringing along an 8 lb Dachshund is probably easier than taking an 80 lb Labrador.
Which breed is best? There are many breeds that are great for families. It’s important to research what you are looking for in a dog, and what breeds are the best fit for your family. The dogs that seem to make the top of the list for families include Golden Retrievers and Labradors. If you want a smaller dog, I hear that King Charles Spaniels are wonderful with kids. Do your research, ask friends or family, and talk to anyone else who you find helpful. Try to gather all of the information you can before making your decision, so that you know you’re going with the best dog for your family.
Where to get the dog? There are shelters, rescues, pet stores, private breeders, and private individuals that are all good options – depending on your family and what you are looking for. It’s great to rescue a dog, but it’s also important to remember that many rescue dogs have unknown backgrounds and may not be suitable for families with young children. A dog’s history is important when you have babies or toddlers, so make sure that the dog you end up getting is a dog is good with children. If you are going with a breeder, make sure and ask around to get recommendations from friends or family. Feel free to ask the breeder any questions you can think of, and trust your instincts.
A dog is a lifetime (in dog years) commitment. One reason that there are so many dogs in shelters and rescues is that many people decide to get a cute little puppy, only to change their minds once it becomes a full grown dog. I know that the dog we get for our family will (hopefully) be with us until our kids are in high school or college. Think ahead to the years down the road, and whether or not you see yourself with this dog in ten or fifteen years. If you see yourself giving up a yard and moving to the city in a couple of years, you may want to reconsider getting a dog that needs to run in a backyard all day long. If you have older children now but are hoping to have another baby, make sure that the dog you choose is good with little kids as well as big ones. Sure, none of us knows exactly what lies ahead, but it’s good to take your best guesses and see if a dog is in your long term future as well as your life today.

I don’t see us getting a puppy in the next few months, but hopefully we will this summer. With Christmas around the corner, life is too busy right now for housebreaking a puppy. And besides – I’d rather not stand outside waiting for a little puppy to go to the bathroom when it’s 30 degrees. So when it gets warm and we’re running around outside again, we’ll probably be researching breeds and breeders. Let me know if you have any suggestions!

-Grace

Your Ideal Family: How To Make It A Reality

admin — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 10:20:54 +0000

[Editor's note: Thanks to Sherri Kruger for her post having the family you've always envisioned. Personally, I've always dreamed about what my life and children would be like, and these simple points give some great insight!]

By Sherri Kruger, for Zen Family Habits

For many the ideal family is the one most commonly portrayed in movies or on TV. You know the ones where the siblings all get along and never fight, there is always something fun to do or some mischief to get into. I remember seeing a family a while ago and thinking “wow they’re so lucky”. Fast forward a few years and now I feel I am the lucky one.

Thing is, luck actually has very little to do with it. A great family life doesn’t just happen, you’re not just born with it. A great family, like any great relationship, requires effort. A great family is more likely to succeed if everyone is on-board playing the same game by the same rules.

Here are some ideas to get you started down the path towards your ideal family.

1. Begin with the end in mind. Close your eyes for a minute and be still. Think about your ideal family. Visualize it. Once you have a clear picture in your mind answer the following questions:

What makes this the ideal family?
In what way is it different to what you have now?
How does this ideal situation make you feel?

Visualization helps remove the abstraction that comes with saying something vague like: I want a happy and close family. What does a “happy and close family” mean to you? Be as specific as you can be.

2. Be inclusive of everyone. If creating your ideal family is what you’re after then include everyone. Granted very young children may not be able to contribute much but it’s still important to have them around. Once everyone has had a chance to answer the three questions from point 1, compare notes.

Be open to what comes out, try not to be judgmental, dismissive or close minded. Make this a positive time with family and encourage everyone to share. You’ll gain insight into what makes others in your family tick. What similarities do you notice? What are the major differences? Discuss them and see what comes out. Sometimes the best ideas aren’t even your own. Shocking I know!

3. Make a plan. Pool your ideas and see if you are able to create a single unified path towards your ideal family. While I think compromise is okay, I prefer to find a solution that makes everyone happy, this can sometimes take a while. But if it’s not win/win then it’s unlikely anyone will be happy. Make a list of activities you can do each day to get closer to your family’s ideal.

Will you create a morning ritual?
Will you make family dinners a priority?
Will you devote one day on the weekend to doing a family activity?

Whatever it is start small, be consistent and make it something you all look forward to. Get excited!

4. Meet regularly. Once you have your action plan and know where you’re headed as a family, have regular meetings. In the beginning I found that once a week was ideal. Once we had the details sorted and had talked through what we wanted to we scaled it back to once a month and now we chat when we feel we are straying from the path in some way.

A lot of times what sounds good in theory either isn’t practical, fun or sustainable in practice. Having a set time dedicated to discuss any thoughts or concerns keeps issues from being dragged out and can get you back on track.

5. Be open to change. Don’t be afraid to spice things up every now and then. Some activities you initially choose may be seasonal or you may just lose interest in them. Change is usually a good thing. If you decide as a family to change things up a bit consider doing it at a family meeting where everyone is present and can have a say. Life changes. Circumstances change. Expecting one path and a handful of activities to create and maintain your ideal family forever is unrealistic.

This is your family, have fun with it. Keep things fresh and interesting. Great families often don’t just happen, they are created.

This post and others can be found at Zen Family Habits. Provided by The Mom’s Cheat Sheet with the permission of the author.

Your Ideal Family: How To Make It A Reality

Create A Play Area That Fits

admin — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 10:11:08 +0000

[Editor's note: Thanks to Sherri Kruger for her post on setting up a play area for your children. These are ideas that both parents and kids will enjoy. As a mom of two young girls, I really appreciate these tips!]

By Sherri Kruger, for Zen Family Habits

If you have children then you know all too well that they come with toys. Many MANY toys. Those toys seem to multiply every week. Some toys are great they can spark imagination, creativity and a sense of wonder in little ones. They can help pass a rainy afternoon and even provide valuable insight into our child’s world.

Although these toys are good I don’t like the idea of them taking over the entire house. My solution: an area the kids could play in, store their toys and books, make a mess and not have to clean it up right away. If you are still fighting with messes, stepping on Lego, or tripping on trucks then perhaps these tips are worth a shot.

1. Blend it in. I wanted the kids area to be fun and bright to spark imagination and creativity but I did not want it to stand out like a sore thumb from the rest of the house. We chose subtle colors that complimented those we have throughout the rest of the house.

2. Make it inviting. There are ways to make the area inviting without making it too kiddie like. We have pictures of the boys on the walls using large frames. The play area is well lit so even on gloomy, overcast days it’s not a dreary place to be. There is a colorful play mat on the floor and it opens to the living-room and computer room so the kids don’t feel completely removed from the rest of us.

3. Limit the amount of furniture. Kids like a large open area to play in. Trucks need to be pushed around, mega blocks need to be stacked and forts need to be built. Our play area is in the basement at the base of the stairs. In their play area is a set of cube shelves we bought to store books and most of their toys. It’s tucked in the corner of the room so as not to take up much space. For Christmas we’ve added bean bag chairs to the boys lists and when they are a little bit older we’ll get a craft table of sorts so they can create their works of art.

4. Make it educational. It’s sometimes difficult to separate educational from boring. Along one wall of the play room we created an alphabet tree, it is fun, educational but still matches the overall feel of our home. We had large vinyl letters and numbers printed with an adhesive backing. We used the large letters as the trunk of a tree and the small letters as a branch. We painted on branches and leaves and placed the numbers throughout the branches. We hung a large clock with real numbers, not roman numerals, to teach the boys to count and tell time. We also painted a magnetic chalk board on another wall for them to draw on and play with their magnetic alphabet.

5. Limit the amount of toys. If you have a thousand and one toys for your children to play with try stashing some away for later. What I’ve found is the more toys my eldest son has access too the less he plays with any of them. He becomes overwhelmed with the choices and in the end chooses not to play with them at all. We have 2 plastic bins that we use to rotate through their toys. Every month or two we pull out the bins. The toys that were out now get stored and toys from storage are out to be played with. This has worked very well for our boys. With fewer toys to choose from their attention is held longer on the ones that are out and every couple of months it’s like getting brand new toys.

We have a very open home. Our kids are welcomed in every corner of it. We have no “kid-free zones” but at the same time I don’t want to have their toys take over every corner of the house. With a little planning, forethought and a lot of love we’ve created a space where our kids can be kids and we can enjoy the space too.

This post and others can be found at Zen Family Habits. Provided by The Mom’s Cheat Sheet with the permission of the author.

Create A Play Area That Fits

7 Time Management Techniques For Real Families

admin — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 10:19:21 +0000

[Editor's note: Thanks to Sherri Kruger for her post on time management. I feel my days becoming busier as my children get older, and this is a great post on how to manage. I especially like her idea of a family calendar – as our family grows, I know that our lives will become busier as well!]

By Sherri Kruger, for Zen Family Habits

The general sentiment around productivity is to get more done in less time. While this is great in theory, focusing solely on getting the most done can lead to burning out. This is only compounded when you throw managing a home and family into the mix.

Whether your family is large or small, time management should be a priority. Taking a bit of time upfront to plan a schedule or routine can reduce stress and allow your family to function optimally.

1. Limit commitments. This is where you’ll get the biggest bang for your time management buck. Reduce the number of committees, groups, teams and activities you participate in. Choose only those that are really important to you and that you are happy to be doing. Continuing to participate in something out of a feeling of obligation is not good. Learn to say no. Realize that when you say yes to one thing you are saying no to something else. All too often that something else we say no to, is our family or ourselves.

2. Focus on real deadlines. The trick with deadlines is they wreak havoc mentally. Setting a deadline is one thing, sticking to it and not letting the day lapse is something else. Think of the last time you missed a deadline, we’ve all done it. How did it make you feel? Did you feel bad? Did you get down on yourself? I used to. The thing with deadlines is a lot of them are self imposed. Meaning we set them for ourselves but there aren’t any real consequences to not meeting them. Instead, focus on those that must be met. Things like bill due dates, doctor appointments, birthdays, and taking the garbage out on garbage day. Entering these true deadlines in a family calendar (see point 3) will provide a framework around which all other activities can be slotted into.

3. Create a family calendar. This can be as high tech or as low tech as you want it to be. The key to a useful family calendar is that it should be easy for everyone to use and accessible to everyone. I like the idea of using a good old fashioned flip calendar but you can use an online version, whiteboard or chalkboard. It’s up to you and your family. Start by filling in the regular commitments of all of your family members. Things like, soccer practice, yoga, doctors appointments, business trips, and garbage day. Then fill in the other date-independent plans each of you have. I prefer to do these a week at a time. Life and circumstances change so by filling in the calendar one week at a time it allows for some flexibility.

4. Get the right tools. Decide on what tools will work the best with your family given space, time and financial constraints. If PDAs (handheld computers) work for everyone, and you can afford it, then add them to your list. If you’re like me a whiteboard or paper calendar will do just fine. Consider color coding each person so their responsibilities and commitments are immediately obvious. What else do you require? An inbox or two? Post-it Notes for taking messages or leaving reminders for other people in your house? An assortment of colored pens or markers? Just give a thought to what you need, see if you can make do with what you already have and purchase what is still remaining.

5. Be realistic. You are not Superman/Superwoman. There is no way you can be in two places at the same time. Yes, something has to give. This relates back to point 1 in that for every new commitment you take on board you will be taking time away from something else. Consider and reconsider adding any more responsibilities to your family and start saying no. It’s your job to make sure you and your family are being well taken care of. Every member of your family should feel their needs are being met and not neglected.

6. Reduce clutter. It’s difficult to be efficient and to manage your time wisely if you are constantly rummaging through piles of paper, mounds of clothing, boxes and papers. It doesn’t help that when you do eventually find something it’s run out of ink, batteries or otherwise. Reducing clutter can help your family to run like a well oiled machine. When things have a home it’s easier to maintain order. Start by clearing a spot for your family calendar or message centre and work out from there. Do it in small bits and work as a team to get everything in the most logical place.

7. Work as a team. It’s difficult enough to come up with a plan that everyone will stick to and follow. What makes it even more difficult is when you do it alone and dictate to the others “how it’s going to be”. The best way to get everyone on board is to include them. Include them in the brainstorming, organizing, shopping and executing. Put ideas out there and allow for discussion. Take other ideas on board and see where they lead you. Some of the best ideas come out of group chats. One idea leads to another, leads to yet another and finally leads to the best one of the day.

Time management takes persistence and patience to master. Working together to get a system that works well for your family is what’s important. Try leaving a couple nights a week free to accommodate for emergencies or rescheduling or just a good family fun night. Once you’ve decided on a system give it time to take hold. If it’s still not working for you after a few weeks get together and re-think it. What’s working? What’s not? You shouldn’t feel as though this is set in stone. Be open to change. You’ll be operating like a well oiled, stress and chaos free family in no time.

This post and others can be found at Zen Family Habits. Provided by The Mom’s Cheat Sheet with the permission of the author.

7 Time Management Techniques For Real Families

Cute Fall Tradition with Kids

admin — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 12:48:46 +0000

Growing up, we had The Money Tree in our front yard. It was a small little tree that occasionally grew money – pennies, nickles, dimes, etc. Sometimes we’d come home from school and find the coins scattered around it, and (even though I was old enough to figure it out) it was a fun, mysterious little tradition.

I love family traditions, and since fall is one of my favorite seasons, I can see why I enjoy an idea like The Magic Pumpkin Patch. This is just one of the many great ideas you can find at Balancing Beauty and Bedlam, a blog I like to follow. If you enjoy pumpkins and seeing your kids smile, then you’ll love the Magic Pumpkin Patch!

Fall Tradition – Magic Pumpkin Patch [Balancing Beauty and Bedlam]

Volunteers Receive Free Day at Disney

admin — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 12:50:56 +0000

Have you ever considered volunteering? Disney is providing extra incentive to give back to your community next year by rewarding free one-day passes to 1 million folks who take a day to volunteer.

“The “Give a Day, Get a Disney Day” program will provide certified volunteers with a one-day ticket to any park at Disneyland in Anaheim, Calif., or Walt Disney World near Orlando, Fla., in 2010.”

This sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me. If you live close enough for a day trip to one of the parks, why not participate in this program? Volunteering in your community is a great experience already, and this makes it even more rewarding.

If you are interested in this program, check out Disney offers free entry to 1 million volunteers. [yahoo news]

Simple Family Traditions

admin — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 09:20:00 +0000

Ah, Monday. Although Mondays are usually seen as a bummer, I like to look at them as a clean slate. It’s the beginning of another week, with the promise of new things to come. Mondays can be a day of opportunity, and a fresh start to what could be a fantastic week ahead. Since it’s the start of a new week, I’d like to suggest starting some new family traditions.

We know that kids thrive on routine. Toddlers can insist on the same exact bedtime routine, with the same stuffed animal, and the same bedtime story. Kids enjoy knowing what to expect, because it helps them make sense of this huge world around them. Go a step further than those daily routines, and think about the simple family traditions that can be incorporated into your lives.

I used to think that family traditions usually centered around some big event, like making homemade pies for Thanksgiving or hosting an annual Christmas party with all of your family. Yes, those can be fun family traditions – but don’t overlook things that are easy to do throughout the year. Some of the best family traditions are things that can be done anytime of the year, each week or each month.

For our family, Friday is the day. We start out with Friday Morning Pancakes, and I try to vary it up each week. Blueberry one week, apple-cinnamon the next… you get the picture. It’s a great way to celebrate the end of the week, and it’s a nice change from the breakfast of oatmeal or cereal we have the other six days of the week. My kids love Friday morning pancakes even more when I make them into “funny guys” by using fruit and whipped cream to make some sort of silly face on their pancakes.

My husband also started another simple family tradition that my girls are crazy about. Every Friday evening, as soon as they hear his truck in the driveway, they run to the door. They know that Friday means not only the start of the weekend with their daddy, but they know that he has a “Friday Surprise” for them. Last week he brought home cookies, and the week before that he picked up “Ice Age” popsicles. Whatever the treat happens to be, they know to expect it on Fridays – and yet they still react as if it’s the biggest surprise in the world when they see what he has for them.

What about your family? Do you have any traditions with your kids, like movie nights on Saturdays or going out for pizza Sunday after church? I’d love to hear your ideas!

- Grace

Introducing Your Baby to Your Pet

admin — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 17:48:12 +0000

It never really occurred to me that my miniature dachshund, Oliver, would have much of an issue with our new baby. Sure, he was used to being “my baby,” with his place in my lap (which was harder and harder as my pregnancy progressed), but I figured he would adapt just fine. Boy, was I wrong.

Oliver started out by marking his territory in our daughter’s nursery. Then he decided to try incessantly barking at our elderly neighbors. And it was always, always when I had just sat down to nurse my daughter. Oliver seemed fine with the baby – he did not snap at her or bark at her, but he was ticked at me. How could I dare to bring someone else into his perfect world, and upset the balance?

After three months of chaos, we ended up finding a new home for Oliver. Things had gotten out of hand, and we needed to focus more on our new baby and less on the jealous dog who was tearing things apart and peeing all over the place. Now, I know that our story is probably the exception and not the rule, but I still learned a valuable lesson – it’s very important to prepare your pet(s) for the arrival of a new family member. They feel like part of the family, and it’s important to do whatever you can to ease the transition for everyone.

I would have benefitted from reading up on this topic before our first baby was born. Who knows, maybe things would have turned out differently? I encourage you to look into ways to prepare your pet for your new arrival, and you can get started by checking out the post below.

When Baby Meets Your Pet [The Early Show, CBS News]

Fun For the Whole Family

admin — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 22:12:33 +0000

Hooray for Wal-Mart! Reuters posted an article today about the company’s plan for making family fun more affordable. More and more families are opting for less expensive ways to enjoy an evening together, rather than choosing a more expensive evening out. Forget taking the kids miniature golfing – with Wal-Mart’s low prices and great selection, you can find a number of ways to bring the kids together for the evening. Some of our favorite movies for the whole family include “Shrek,” “Toy Story,” and any of the “Veggie Tales.” My daughter loves playing Cootie with her dad, as well as CandyLand. Personally, I can’t wait for my kids to be old enough to play “Risk.”

Read the full post below for more details.

Walmart Adds ‘Family Night Center’ in All Stores for Creating a Night of Activities… [Reuters]

Have Fun Getting In Shape

admin — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 12:58:02 +0000

I found this article from Shine particularly interesting, given that I’m buckling down and trying to lose those last few pregnancy pounds. I went to the gym last night and was reminded how much I hate cardio when I’m not used to it, which is why this post is refreshing. There are ways to get fit that don’t involve torturing yourself at the gym in front of total strangers. I am particularly fond of their thoughts on adding variety to your fitness plan:

“Doing the same workout over and over is not only boring; it can also result in a plateau. Signing up for a new class or a sports league keeps you motivated, especially when you have to make a long-term commitment. It’s also a good way to meet new training partners. Trying a different activity sparks new ideas, which you can integrate into your usual routine.”

Check out the full post by reading 4 Ways to Make Fitness More Fun [Shine]